The Day of the Sabbath 1/23/2006
Yes Sunday. I committed many offenses to common sense and humility on this day.
It started with the Seahawks game. I thought “what a great way to pass the afternoon/evening, watching the game.” I added to that, a bottle of wine that I had. All in all, it wasn’t a bad idea.
Next – Seahawks dominating at the half, my bottle of wine is gone. Not gone like stolen or lost, gone like I drank it all. I’m feeling pretty good since all I ate was breakfast.
Next – My roommate and my other roommates brother are now both as drunk as me. Enter flying naked ass drops to random guests of the house. When I say flying naked ass drops, I mean like a fucking WWF leap off furniture with your ass out landing as close to someones face as possible.
Next – Shouting. Not shouting at each other or at people outside, these are phone victims. Anyone who called got a simultaneous “YES THEY DESERVED TO DIE, AND I HOPE THEY BURN IN HELL!!” If they called again, same treatment.
Next – I get a great idea, I’ll call this really attractive girl I know and talk to all the time and try to have a conversation with her. It ended up that I asked her to be in a gangbang and to touch my raging hard on I had in my pants. I’m sure other things were said, but I can’t remember those.
Next – I call another girl that we know. I can’t think of anything to say (as far as I remember) so my roommate takes the phone. He tells her he wants to take her down and she will make him squirt. Graphic.
Next – After plenty more ass drops, which result is scotch and soda all over me (did I mention I switched to scotch after the wine?), James and I decide that the best thing to do next is have a tortilla chip fight in the kitchen and then roll around in the remnants. After that we decide the wicker laundry basket is an enemy and dispose of it in the only way possible – a WWF style elbow drop festival until there are only small pieces left, which we subsequently throw into the yard.
Next – I decide I hate the lamp on our floor and toss it outside, followed by the chairs down the stairs. We go out and burn the lampshade with a propane torch while I throw firecrackers on the burning flame. That was the safest thing that happened all night. When thats done I throw the lamp at a guy and James throws a firecracker at him. I also did once I saw what happened. It blew up right next to him.
Next – I finally decide that I should go to sleep, although I have no idea what time it is. I don’t have a shirt anymore because it was scotch covered and ripped. Before I retire, I take some magazines and rip the pages out and throw them all over the house. “Why?” You ask? Because fuck magazines, and fuck my house. That’s why. I then go to my room, turn on loud music and pass out with lights and the rest of my clothes still on, and a bit scotchy. I woke up at 230AM and removed all my clothing to go to real bed. I needed some water before I did, so I walked to the kitchen. I realized the error of my ways when the path was covered in magazines, tortilla chips, and wicker. Official pass out time – 930PM.
Sorry liver.
Check out pics of the damage -
http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b361/badseedjr/PICT0015.jpg
http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b361/badseedjr/PICT0017.jpg
http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b361/badseedjr/PICT0018.jpg
