What Exactly Are You Counting? 1/19/12006

Dear Carb Counters,

Counting carbs is a crazy fad. I actually thought it was dead when Atkins guy died of a heart attack, but no, it is certainly alive today. People at my work do it all the time. “I’ll take a pile of tuna please. No bread.” “Can I get a slab of lunch meat, hold the bread?” This practice is actually just a form of calorie reduction, when performed properly. This is not about the proper people, it’s about people like the lady I saw today. “I’ll take a burger, minus the bun, but plus one more burger and cheese.” What the fuck? I”ll take 500 calories, minus 100, plus 400 more? That’s not going to lose you any weight. This country is so god damn lazy that they can’t even excercise, they have to look for a quick way out, like eating a shit load of fat and no carbs. Here’s a hint people, if the fast food restaurants picked up on it really fast, it’s probably not good for you. A low carb breakfast bowl made of bacon, eggs, cheese, sausage, ham, more bacon, and more cheese is not good for you. Yes, it’s low carb, but it’s 9 kajillion calories from fat. Fat kills you, not carbs people. When’s the last heart attack you heard about from carbohydrates? Even if the low carb/all fat diet works for you, your heart now weighs 68 lbs and you have a blood pressure of 190/120. Small price to pay for being less fat eh? Get a fucking clue. In conclusion, I’d like to tell you of something I recently discovered. I know of an item that you can take just 3 times a week, and all it does is take a few minutes to finish. It’s guaranteed to make you healthier, raise you heartbeat, raise your metabolism and burn calories. It’s even free! It’s called exercise. Do it you crisco guzzling fuckers!