The Movie that Stopped a War 2/17/2007

This evening, I went to see a movie called Hannibal Rising.  This movie was very powerful in it’s effects on me.  As I was watching this movie, there was a war brewing, and I did not even know that it was happening.  You see, earlier in the night, a friend, Bryan, and I went to a local restaurant.  This restaurant serves wings… buffalo wings.  At a mere 20 cents a wing, who could pass up such a delicious treat?  I personally had 15, Bryan: 14. He would have had 15 as well, but in their haste, the cooks mistook our order of 10 for an order of 9, totalling 29, rather than 30.  Bryan volunteered to take the lesser amount.  This is all unimportant.  What is important is that during and after these winhgs were being consumed, alcohol was also being consumed.  2 guinness, a mojito, and a double shot of Jameson were all consumed.  This created a mixture in my stomach of very different, yet appealing ingredients.  These ingredients combined in the depths of my stomach, to form a fromidable foe to any digestive system.  This union of alcohol, wings, and other various ingredients launched a campaign reminiscent of Hitlers march into France.  My intestines were simply not prepared.  Withing moments, the wings slash alcohol army was storming my small intestine with the fury of hell.   My intestines had no choice but to yield.  After the battle of Wagner’s small intestine, the wing/alcohol army moved to take my colon.  It is here where an historic event had taken place.  My colon, fueled by the devastation of the small intestine, held up against the raging army.  For minutes,  it held it’s ground.  After several attempts, the winged alocohol army had to back off out of fear of losses.  Shortly after this stalemate, both sides agreed to send delegates to the negotiation tables.  Members of the winged alcohol republic met with members of the rectal parliament.  In a series of short negotiations, terms were reached.  Both sides agreed to lay down arms and combine their efforts.  Their efforts were then crafted into the perfect specimen of fecal matter.  With this fecal matter, the sides would deliver a message to a new foe… Hollywood.  They would excrete this fecal matter into a bag and send it to their new enemy.  When Hollywood recieved it, they would open the package and find a deuce in a bag.  The bag wold then be labelled “The contents of this is far superior to the movie Hannibal Rising.  Fuck You Hollywood.”